Perhaps I should combine the two and ask how will I affect others in the future. I think I will have to answer them separately to get a good estimate for the future, but i can guess and think. I hope I'm better than I am right now, I hope i can learn from how i affect people now. I want to help people a bit more socially, but it's kind of awkward for me right now. It sort of always has been. I'm not as comfortable really being out there. I think I'm to shy to be of much good support wise since I figure that sometimes that's exactly what a person needs to see or feel. Someone who will be a bit more courageous to support people in whatever way they need to in public where people are there to judge and observe.

For anyone reading this besides my English teacher, I am going to be using this webpage as a sort of journal for my English class that we have to keep, much like the one I did in all of the previous posts, but this one is just a different English class.

(this is a big repost, so reverse chronological order)

Where will I be in 20 years?

How do I affect the people around me?

Those were the two essential questions I chose, or at least the ones that I thought I would be like to answer the most. I didn’t find many questions appealing simply because they did not interest me, none really provoked my thoughts or made me really care about the answer. A lot of the example essential questions would have answers that I think I would find out anyway eventually, or the answer to them would not have made my life any different. I kind of wanted a question that would actually be useful for me. Even the “Where will I be in 20 years?” question really wasn’t that interesting for me, just more interesting than the rest I thought of. I figure that I might change my questions in the future if I can think of a better, more useful one.

I think that my question of “where will I be in 20 years?” was more about what type of job I might get. That’s one of the more important parts to me of where I will be in 20 years. I figure that by then I will have gone through a couple jobs (I heard somewhere that the average person these days goes through 5-7 jobs before finding a steady one) and I might be near having found one that I like. At this point in time I really don’t have much of an idea of where I am gong to be going in life. Right now my back hurts a bit from sitting in a bad position; I should probably work on that so it doesn’t affect my job choices.

I guess that I should write about my other question having to do with how I affect the people around me. This one was one that I actually thought of as a sort of last minute thing. I thought that this was one of my better questions because of its usefulness to me in the long and short term since it would be a sort of way to better myself. Normally it would be harder for me to find a way to better myself in life by writing, but this has hopeful possibilities for the future when I get around to answering it in depth and taking a lot of time to think about it.

Looking back at some of the entries I have in this blog I found my long fantasy story. It’s more of a sci-fi story, but more importantly, it’s very long. I shouldn’t say extremely long because I know people have written longer stories for classes, but this one was for an assignment where the rest of the class wrote 2-3 pages of story where as I somehow decided that I would take the time to write another 8 after that. I’m connecting this to my where I will be question as a sort of side note that I can enjoy writing stories if I have and take the time to do it. I don’t think I’d want to have to write for my foodstuffs and gaming money.

This might seem like I’m being kind of lazy, but I’m using my science video from last year as a topic again because I liked it. I do feel proud because it was actually something I enjoyed doing and took time and work making. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5826053992199508834

I guess this could be something fun to do later because it was something odd and fun to do, it would be something to look into to see what types of jobs could come out of it.

I’m having a bit of a problem thinking of what to write about now so I’m just sort of rambling till something comes to mind since I find I can get started writing better if I work with a train of thought, oh, of course, video games came to mind just now and that sounds like something I can talk about easily, and maybe even find a way to relate it to my questions, oh wait, just got something, there’s the obvious connection that people enjoying video games can go off and start programming them, I don’t know if that would be the right thing for me since I don’t know how long I could just work with code and such for but I think that the actual creative part might be interesting people that are able to design such games, even movies that really make you feel emotion and go along with the story are people I find fascinating because it really must take a certain kind of person to be able to evoke primal feelings from humans towards pixels dots and pretty lights I also just realized the lack of periods in my paragraph so I had better at least end with one.

I haven’t really touched on my other question about how I affect other people. I suppose it’s because it would take more brainpower than just my normal trains of thought which seem to flow out easier so expect more fluff around the actual answer than normal since I’m trying to keep the words coming. I tend to think of myself as a calm person that doesn’t get upset easily. I do fume and get angry sometimes, but I try not to make outward acts of aggression towards other people like shouting or swearing. It does not feel like I’m suppressing emotions which everyone says is bad and I try to keep an eye out incase I might be going crazy. I guess I wouldn’t say that I’m suppressing things because in the end I work the things out cause it’s usually about something stupid or just me not getting enough sleep.

Sometimes I find myself getting annoyed, almost angered by the sight and thought of how mad people get about stupid things. Sometimes it’s just simple flaws in rules in our world such as laws or other things that most people wouldn’t take the time to change. I see these people getting all worked up and angry about something for a reason I usually can not understand about something they can not or should not change and I get worked up right along side them. I don’t really know why or who I’m getting annoyed at, and I don’t act upon it, but often times that memory will stick with me throughout the day. Maybe it’s because I try to remember what I would not like to see myself become. I think this is more of a way that others affect me.